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Computer programming, Macs, and other such things... mostly cynical or humorous (sometimes both!).
Quote | Author | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| A computer without Windows is like a dog without bricks tied to its head. | ||||
| Being a Mac user is like being a Navy Seal: a small, elite group of people with access to the most sophisticated technology in the world, whom everyone calls on to get the really tough jobs done quickly and efficiently. | ||||
| Bill Gates' greatest achievement was conditioning the average PC user to anticipate, expect, and accept mediocrity as the gold standard. | ||||
| Computers are a lot like air conditioners--they both work great until you open up Windows. | ||||
| Mac OS X: because making Unix user-friendly is easier than debugging Windows. | ||||
| Perfectionists should NOT be allowed access to computing equipment! | ||||
| Programmers call their mistakes bugs, because no one could acknowledge making as many mistakes as programmers do. | ||||
| The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners. | ||||
| UNIX is very user-friendly. It is just picky who it is friendly with. | ||||
| Windows is a 32-bit extension to a 16-bit graphical shell for an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition. | ||||
| You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. Please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for your cooperation. | ||||
| Why do computer techs urge their employers to buy Windows machines? Because they break! What do computer techs do? They repair computers that break. Get it? | ||||
| The parallel between the dates of Microsoft Windows gaining popularity and Alfa Romeo and Renault pulling out of the American market suggests that Microsoft simply created flawed software in order to employ all of the Alfa Romeo and Renault mechanics that had recently become unemployed. | Andrew Kator | |||
| I used to dream of the day when my computer would be as easy to use as my mobile phone. It has happened, I no longer know how to use my phone. | Bjorn Stroustrup, the inventor of C++ | |||
| Ten years ago the most common password on the web was 'password' and today it's 'password1'. | Chris Clark | |||
| Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,' 'Trojan horses' and 'licensed Microsoft software' that can take over your computer and render it useless. | Dave Barry | |||
| Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. | Donald Knuth | |||
| PowerPoint makes us stupid. | Gen. James N. Mattis, USMC | |||
| It just doesn't matter how horrible the Windows experience is to any given employee, because in the vast majority of cases, that employee is forced to use it anyway. The same goes for Office, and Outlook. If you don't like it, you can always quit and get a job being forced to use Windows and Office and Outlook somewhere else. | Jack Miller | |||
| More people have ascended bodily into heaven than have shipped great software on time. | Jim McCarthy | |||
| The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a 'mouse.' There is no evidence that people want to use these things. | John C. Dvorak, Feb. 1984 | |||
| Everyone who uses a computer frequently has had, from time to time, a mad desire to attack the precocious abacus with an axe. | John D. Clark, 1972 | |||
| That's the thing about people who think they hate computers. What they really hate is lousy programmers. | Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle | |||
| If it's a hobby for us and a job for you, then why are you doing such a shoddy job? | Linus Torvalds to Microsoft | |||
| Even Intel doesn't know quite why some chip manufacturing processes work better than others. In the late 1990's it instituted a program called 'Copy EXACTLY!,' which required that new plants use equipment and procedures replicated from existing plants, right down to the color of paint on the wall. | New York Times | |||
| DOS computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use wordwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form. | NY Times, 1991 | |||
| Windows XP on the Internet amounts to a car parked in a bad part of town, with the doors unlocked, the key in the ignition and a Post-It note on the dashboard saying, 'Please don't steal this.' | Rob Pegoraro, The Washington Post | |||
| If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. | Scott Adams | |||
| It turns out people want keyboards. When Apple first started out, people couldn't type. We realized: Death would eventually take care of this. | Steve Jobs | |||
| It's not like Windows users don't have any power; I think they are happy with Windows, and that's an incredibly depressing thought. | Steve Jobs | |||
| There will always be skeptics. There will always be disbelievers. And there will always be Apple to prove them wrong. | Steve Jobs | |||
| Never ask a man what computer he uses. If it's a Mac, he'll tell you. If it's not, why embarrass him? | Tom Clancy | |||
| Pound for pound, forget gold, forget diamonds. There is nothing more valuable on Earth than an inkjet cartridge. | Tricia Judge, Imaging Spectrum magazine | |||
| An ultraintelligent machine could design even better machines; there would then unquestionably be an 'intelligence explosion,' and the intelligence of man would be left far behind. Thus the first ultraintelligent machine is the *last* invention that man need ever make, provided that the machine is docile enough to tell us how to keep it under control. | Vernor Vinge | |||
| Just imagine what Leonardo Da Vinci could have accomplished if he had had email. | William Hunt | |||
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